Superfriends…to Right That Which is Wrong and to Serve All Mankind!

I know, I know. I’m the Anti-Marriage Avenger.

Of course, the Anti-Marriage Avenger isn’t a part of Superfriends but, come on, with all of that spandex – I see no reason why I shouldn’t be! As the Anti-Marriage Avenger, what’s worse is that I’m married! And love being married! Love it, love it, love it. But marriage isn’t so great because of marriage, no, it’s because of who I’m married to. I might not be such a fan if I had to be married to someone else. Millions of people in the US are forced to marry just to participate in the same civil protections everyone else gets.

The US has it backwards. As a government and people, we’re obsessed with marriage for the sake of marriage. It is the only way to organize one’s private domestic life for same-sex or opposite-sex couples. So queers marry straights to, first of all, avoid isolation, judgment, humiliation and all of the lovely things that most every queer has to face throughout their lives. Older brothers and sisters who reside together lose out on thousands of tax benefits because there is no way that they can arrange their households together. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before the Legion of Doom, uh, the Right starts going after widowers as de-stabilizers of society. Queers marry straights to get immigration and tax benefits but don’t think that straight people don’t do the same thing. Tell me you’ve never met a straight married couple who married so the foreign partner could get a green card. If you haven’t, you need to get out more. This may be surreptitious and illegal but it is also, for many, a means of survival. It is certainly NOT just a gay issue.

You dump the person you love in Brazil, South Africa or Thailand. Or, Iran.


Queers are forced to do this everyday. Now, don’t get me wrong there are wonderful things about those countries. But safety for gay people isn’t one of them. What I’m talking about is the forced separation we impose upon gay and straight couples because of the antiquated marriage laws. This is destabilization at its most effective. It is yet another of the Right’s cognitive disconnects to say that breaking up families is a force of stabilization. Our laws insist, for example, that my partner and I spend thousands of dollars traveling to and fro to see each other.

“Banded together from remote galaxies, thirteen of the most sinister villains of all time – the Legion of Doom!”

— Super Friends Narrator

Now, I know that there is a deeper prejudice going on here about queer relationships not deserving recognition. Under this ridiculous argument that marriage provides stability (whatever that is) to the family and society, this chimera of misinformation continues. But what the Right (who clearly hang out with the Legion of Doom) denies gets kids to school, saves millions of unwanted children from being without love and care and protects the ties that bind neighborhoods, schools, playgrounds, cities, states and the nation. Queers and their respective family formations are heroic given what they must endure.

Have a look at this American Academy of Pediatrics Effects of Anti-Gay Laws on Children :


Domestic abuse and family breakdown are just some of the many benefits our neighborhoods, cities and nation receive from these bigoted and discriminatory laws.

That said, though, the denial of fundamental civil rights, such as spousal or partner immigration, is denied to straight, bi-national and unmarried couples as well. And lately, finally, Immigration Equality has started to garner more attention to this reality. By making so many of these civil rights denials gayissues we lose the opportunity to build alliances with various communities with whom we share aspirations, interests and resources. We also have not taken advantage of, nor called attention to, the cognitive dissonance the Right depends upon for its arguments.

One of the big mis-steps, for example, that Immigration Equality, HRC and other larger queer civil rights organizations have been making is that in rush to declare how bad things are for queers (which won’t be denied from these quarters), they have missed precious opportunities to create alliances. And strategic alliance is the only way we’re going to get full participation in the civil rights and privileges enjoyed by most Americans.

Wonder Twin Power, Activate!!

Wonder Twin Power, Activate!!

~ by Thom on February 22, 2009.

3 Responses to “Superfriends…to Right That Which is Wrong and to Serve All Mankind!”

  1. If this insanity continues, America will continue to lose more and more of its home-grown talent (and the contributions they WOULD have made to our country), losing them to the MORE enlightened countries…..and that number is growing daily!

    I truly feel TRAPPED in the U.S.A. – imprisoned. Even more frustrating since I live miles from Canada. My illegal, undocumented husband is a Vietnam Vet and lives on a fixed income. I am a welfare recipient who is weeks away from (likely) getting approved for SSI after my disability hearing in December.

    Unfortunately for my hubby and I, you need $10,000 to move to Canada, which is impossible for me, and of course they probably don’t want anyone who has been a casualty of American Legal Hate & Ignorance. I kind of agree – Let America PAY FOR its discrimination.

    I admire the gays who have made the difficult decision to move out of the country to maintain their family, but there is such a sadness and sickness about it all – as you say …refugees.

    • John, if I can be of any help please let me know. There are Legal Aid programs in Canada that may be of help. You might consult Michael Battista at Jordan Battista. While their fees are in the mid-range, they also are part of the Legal Aid program.

  2. Hey, thanks for this note Thom – I just found it. I may seriously look into it if WA state’s civil union progress this year turns into another “PROP 8 campaign”, because I will GO POSTAL on folks if I’m surrounded by YES ON H8 families. People do not realize that state-sanctioned hate & discrimination SOMETIMES leads to mental health issues, and even a disability. PROP 8 pushed me over the edge, since it legalized the hate that caused my PTSD in the first place. I’m anxious to get my results from my 12/4/08 hearing, since they said it would be 3 months for a decision. There’s a very good chance I will get permanent disability, which I think I qualify after spending 5 years struggling (with little medical help…no $$$…only welfare).

    This will mean I would be “officially” diasbled due SPECIFICALLY to marriage discrimination. Ain’t that a bitch.

    This is hilarious if it annoys the Religious Reich taxpayers, but on this end it just sucks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: